The stoic secret to finding happiness in life
it's simple, actually
Society today wants you to believe that happiness comes from material possessions or outside events.
Once you get that lambo you’ll finally be happy. Once you get that brand new house you’ll finally be happy. Once you get that $1 million net worth you’ll finally be happy. Once you get that rolex you’ll finally be happy.
Look, these things are nice, don’t get me wrong, but the stoics understood that material possessions can never lead to true happiness.
I think this is why we are more depressed nowadays than we’ve ever been before. People don’t realize that material possessions don’t lead to happiness or fulfillment, so when they finally get that new shiny thing they’ve been wanting for so long, and it doesn’t actually make them happier, they can’t understand it, and just get more unhappy and move unto the next shiny thing.
Then we keep going around this hamster wheel of materialism, because we think that somehow the next thing will be different, and that it will finally make us happy.
"Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself in your way of thinking.” - Marcus Aurelius
Marcus Aurelius was a roman emperor who lived nearly 2000 years ago (121-180 AD). At the time, you could easily argue that he was the most powerful man on the earth, especially since becoming emperor at the height of the roman empire.
He could’ve had anything he desired in his almost 20 years as ruler of the greatest empire on earth. Money, women, the fastest horse (the og lambo), endless alcohol, partying, etc.
He was unbound by money, law, etc. and could literally do anything he wanted. Yet he didn’t indulge in any of those things.
He advocated for a life of virtue, living in accordance with nature and practicing self discipline above material possessions. I really think he is one of the biggest advocates for material possessions not equaling happiness.
If Marcus Aurelius, the most powerful man on earth, didn’t care about material possessions, why should you?
You are just making yourself miserable chasing all these things instead of looking inwards. I would highly recommend reading his private journal that just so happened to get turned into a book for the public to read nearly 2000 years later. Pretty insane.
It’s called “Meditations” and is one of the most popular books for good reason. There is nothing else like it out there. Unlike other books where the author writes it well knowing that someone is gonna read it, Marcus wrote his “book” as a private journal, not thinking anyone else was gonna read it.
Try to put yourself in his shoes. What would you do if you had access to anything you wanted and could do whatever you wanted?
Most would probably dopaminemaxx like crazy. Partying every day, drugs, alcohol, girls, gambling, buying every single thing they ever wanted. Cars, watches, houses etc.
But would it lead to happiness?
I actually believe it would lead to the opposite: misery.
I know this sounds crazy, but in the end it’s like drugs. In the beginning it feels great, you get tons of dopamine and feel like you’re on top of the world, but in the end it’s never enough. You need more and more and more, and in the end you end up below your baseline happiness.
This is why all these famous rich people end up doing all kinds of crazy shit like all the epstein drama. They have everything, and in the end there is nothing left to do except for going to an island and doing stupid shit. They end up miserable.
Exactly how GTA becomes boring once you get everything.
This is what all the other roman emperors did as well. Indulged in whatever they could. They ended up miserable and the roman empire fell in the end.
It’s kinda like when you’re a kid and you get that new toy for christmas that you have been wanting for a while. Instant dopamine when you rip open the present, but then a couple weeks later it’s sat in the corner of your room collecting dust and you have your sights on a new shiny toy.
“The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.”
- Socrates
So instead of chasing after the next dopamine hit, aka material possessions and all these outside things, look to the inside, and start developing the capacity to enjoy less.
Learn to enjoy the little things. The beautiful sunset, the birds singing, the trees, your family, friends, the beautiful night sky, etc.
All the best things in life are free, remember that.
It’s about learning to just enjoy the present moment instead of always looking towards the future. It’s all these little things that truly bring you joy and fulfillment, but most people don’t pay attention to them anymore because they are focused on what society tells them is important. Getting the newest iphone, the smart tv, the car, the house, the promotion, etc.
I know this sounds cringe, but everyone is literally trapped in the matrix chasing the next materialistic dopamine hit, because that’s what society tells them. Consumerism has never been more widespread, because guess what?
That’s how all these big companies make money. By somehow convincing us to buy shit we don’t actually need.
That’s how the world is run today. If the GDP goes up 3% per year then all is well and the world is prosperous. But is that really true? We are more depressed than ever before, fatter than ever before, more divorced than ever before, etc. despite having more things than we’ve ever had before.
I ain’t saying that you have to go full monk mode, move to the mountains and own absolutely nothing, but I think it’s a great idea to keep these stoic beliefs in the back of your mind the next time you want that shiny new thing.
Just to be clear, there is nothing wrong with wanting to become rich, I want that as well, but I think it’s important to want it for the right reasons and know that it isn’t the most important thing in life.
Get rich so you can spend time with your friends and family, do stuff you actually like, spend money on your health, etc.
NOT so you can buy a lambo just to impress your fake friends.
“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants”
- Epictetus
Another downside of all these material possessions is all the problems they bring.
Like Tyler Durden says in the movie Fight Club “the things you own, end up owning you.”
The more things you own the more stressed out you become because you gotta manage them, make sure nobody steals them, etc.
Let’s say you got a giant ass house worth $10 million, with all kinds of expensive shit inside. Art, watches, cars, etc. Now those things will always be in the back of your mind. You have to probably hire security, get a safe for all your watches, insurance for all the stuff, etc.
And what if you want to go on vacation? Now you’re gonna be thinking about “what if somebody breaks into my house”, and so on.
You might not think about it now, but it’s really true. The more things you own, the more they end up owning you, by dictating your choices.
Biggie was right in his song “Mo Money Mo Problems”.
Here’s an analogy for all the brokies out there (including myself). It’s like you’re playing a video game and you got a lot of valuable stuff on you. Now you play it more safe because you don’t wanna lose it. You don’t take any chances, and you’re stressed out because you gotta keep all these items.
Then when you eventually die and respawn it’s like a giant weight has been lifted off your back. You realize those items weren’t that important in the first place, and now you can actually go around and enjoy the game and just take some chances.
You can have material things, but don’t become so attached to them that you wouldn’t be able to bear loosing them. That is what makes you unhappy.
Marcus Aurelius also talks about how all the things we “own”, we’re only really borrowing from the universe, so why are we mad or sad when we loose them?
All we really have is our mind and body, so focus on those instead.
“We suffer more in our imagination than in reality.”
- Seneca
I think this is another thing we can learn from the stoics. Staying present.
We are all so caught up with the future. What about this, what about that, what if this happens, etc.
We need to practice being more present. We worry about all these things that are never gonna happen. And worse yet, because we aren’t present, always thinking about the future or the past, we miss the present moment which is all there really is.
Another reason why it’s a waste of time is that most things that happen we have no control over. Stuck in traffic? You can’t control it so don’t worry about it. It’s raining? You can’t control it so just enjoy it and don’t worry about it. I could come up with a million examples.
Most things people go around worrying about they have no control over, so it’s really just a waste of brain power expending energy on all these things.
The stoics knew the importance of the present moment and just accepting things as they were. Acting virtuous in the moment and not dwelling on the past or becoming anxious about the future.
So how do we actually do this?
By slowing down. Life goes by so fast today because we are all striving for that next dopamine hit. Scrolling TikTok, watching Netflix, gambling, online shopping, etc.
Whenever we have a split second where we’re bored, we instantly just pull out our phone and start scrolling.
I was recently on the bus where I saw this guy just absolutely addicted to his phone, it was crazy. He was playing a game on his phone and whenever he came to a loading screen that took more than a few seconds he would open TikTok and start scrolling. We were at a place with bad service so a lot of videos didn’t load and we was just scrolling anyways hoping that a video would show up. Then he would switch back to the video game and press violently on the screen as if that would help with loading the game faster.
People are literally so addicted it’s insane. Nobody can do a bus ride without checking their phone. Nobody can stand in line at the supermarket without checking their phone. Nobody can wait at the bus stop without checking their phone.
This is what you need to reject.
You need to consciously spend time being bored and just being in the present moment. Don’t pick up your phone whenever you feel bored and get the urge. Stand at the bus stop without scrolling Instagram. Go for a walk without your phone. Eat without watching youtube.
It’s all about minimizing the amount of high dopamine activities you engage in every day, as these steal your focus and make you more distracted from the present moment.
In the end they also make all the little things that actually make you happy seem boring and uninteresting. Why would you go for a walk and listen to the birds or spend time with your family when you could get 1000x times more dopamine by sitting in your room scrolling TikTok?
Another thing you can practice is meditation. This is another great way to practice staying present and just enjoying the small things.
The “Medito” app is a great place to start, and the best thing is that it’s 100% free.
That’s pretty much all I had to say.
Stay present, reject materialism.
Thanks for reading and godspeed.
— Kasper Veritas